2/17/11- not in denial

i dont think its a coincidence that on the one year anniversary of my first blog entry, is also the day to have my weight and measurements done. i think its divine appointment or in my case, disappointment. its not good news, folks, but i feel compelled to share it with you. since my last weigh-in in november, i have gained 7 lbs. ; a total of 10 lbs. since september. i am angry, disappointed, frustrated and just mad at myself. there is no denial here, i know what the problem is. the decline started in september and i've been gaining since then. we all know that what is going on internally ,typically manifests externally. my emotions and my weight are best friends. sometimes i just throw up my hands and say "forget it!" but i know thats not right. sometimes i feel so motivated and pumped! this is truly an emotional journey, a roller coaster. am i giving up? NEVER!!!!!!! last week, i devised a plan because i knew i had gained weight even before i stepped on the scale today. i feel like a backslider coming back to Jesus. lol. i am re-committing to exercise 5 days a week, to eat more good and less bad AND to remind myself that i am worth it. i cant allow outside influences make decisions for me. i have to press when no one else is pressing. i have to eat the salad when everyone else is eating the cheeseburger and fries. no one can do this for me, but me! i wasnt going to blog about this, but so many of you have encouraged and supported me that i felt like i had to be honest. i apologize if i've disappointed you. saying (typing) this is a great outlet....a catharsis. i will keep you updated....good or bad :)

all of me, (ALOT more of me now)
char

happy anniversary!!!!

this month marks the one year anniversary of starting my blog. wow, cant believe its been a year already?!! when i started this blog, i was looking for an accountability tool; little did i know that i would inspire others...that was not the goal. i am glad that others have joined me in the journey. its not about weight loss for everyone. i talked to a friend recently who said this blog has inspired her to quit smoking, another to be more active. i wish i could throw a party and invite all of you, so let's have a virtual celebration instead!!! let's celebrate the accomplishments we have made...steps to being better. like i always say, this journey is about moving forward. you gotta keep moving forward, even when it feels like you are walking in place. i will turn 39 this year and 40 will be here before you know it. my dad reminded me that I was getting older,and he was getting better. well, dad, i am getting older AND better! does the journey end at 40? not at all!!!! 40 will begin the next leg of this journey and i am looking forward to it.

in the words of my facebook buddy, tionna, lets keep it moving, ladies (and gents)!

all of me,

Char

1/6/11- i don't do resolutions

happy new year and all that jazz! it's jan 6th....you still sticking to your new years resolutions? i stopped making resolutions about 5 years ago. turned out i was all talk and no action. i know there is something symbolic about a new year....fresh start, clean slate, starting over. don't get me wrong, i appreciate that i'm still here to see another year begin, it's a blessing. but why do we have to wait until january before we get ourselves together? why not start in august or october? i know why? we want to eat like pigs all year long and then think when the clock strikes midnight, we magically turn into a health conscious being. uhh...no, that's not not how it works. we all know that the most popular resolution is losing weight. if you want to lose weight, you need more than wishful thinking, you must have a plan. set a goal and make a plan of how to reach it. don't try to do it alone. find a buddy or join an online community for support. make 2011 the year that you make a resolution and stick it out!

all of me,
char

12/9/10- the slump is over

in my last post, i shared that i needed to lose 8lbs to reach my 50lb weight loss. well, i need to lose a few more pounds than i thought. i stepped on the scale today; just for fun, and saw that my weight has creeped back up to a number that i NEVER wanted to see again. the number? anything higher than what i THOUGHT i currently weighed. lol. i must admit, i have been in a bit of a slump lately. it started the week before t-giving. i felt it, but thought i was pms-ing...sorry, fellas :) the feeling continued and i finally recognized it last week. i stopped writing in my food journal and my workouts decreased soon after the 5k. i was talking to my sistah, gretchen about it,and she said many of the things to me that i've said to her! she reminded me to push through the slump. dont you hate when your own words come back at you? i know quitting is not an option and this is part of the journey...this part of the journey sucks!

tonight, i'm going to the gym for a training session with lindsay. hopefully, she wont read this before our session. if she does, just say a prayer for me :)

today is the day to start climbing out of this slump!

all of me,
char

12/4/10- i'm still here

it's been a minute since i've posted....slacker. all is well; continuing to move forward. i completed my second race on t-giving day. it was a 5K and far more challenging than the 4 miler. i'm proud of myself; finished in 58:35. i wanted to finish 2 races this year, and i did. now, i'm working to lose 8 lbs before the end of the year. that will put me at 50 lbs lost. its been a struggle. i lose a pound, gain a pound...back and forth. this happened when i was trying to reach 30lbs. it truly is the battle of the bulge. i'm gonna do it....no doubt!

all of me,
char

10/27/10- its the most wonderful time of the year

not christmas, but fall. dont you love this time of year? the colors and the cooler temps are what does it for me. i also enjoy all the yummy warm foods of the season....comfort food. i am not a fan of apple pie, but i love to smell it baking...cinnamon, nutmeg, butter.....so good. this fall, i am going to approach all the great food of the season in a way i never have before, with peace of mind. i now know that food is fuel and i dont need a lot of it to keep going. i'm looking forward to thanksgiving, but it is not an excuse to overeat. i'm making a promise to myself to not do that.

all of me,

char

10/14/10- who you calling old?

this past tuesday i celebrated my 38th birthday. my kids told me i am officially old. wow, when did 38 officially become old? lol. i am VERY proud to be 38 and looking forward to the BIG 4-0! whats the big deal about 40, anyway? if i'm officially old at 38, then i guess i will be an antique at 40. lol. when i turned 30, i began the journey to discover who the heck charlotte really was. not the person that others wanted her to be. i realized that i had many titles, but no identity. i'm joe and jordan's mom, adolph's wife, pastor walker's daughter....hello? i have a name!!!!! my name is charlotte shirae walker young. i am a beautiful black woman who loves to sing, dance and write poetry. i like chicken, chocolate and coffee (in that order) and i would rather wear jeans and a t-shirt than a dress and heels. i'm kinda quirky, but cool, and i am loyal to the end. that's who charlotte is. i allowed myself to get lost, but at 38 years old; i'm back on track and learning so much about me. in a few years i will no longer be known as the fat chick. i like being a full bodied woman; just want a little less body...lol. skinny is not the goal, HEALTHY is the goal. when i reach 200 lbs and like what i see, that maybe the goal. i wont know til i get there and i am well on my way :)

all of me,
char