Friday, December 7, 2012

12/7/12 Tell the truth and shame the devil

i haven't posted anything since august...WOW!!!! so much has happened since then. my momma in law passed away,  turned 40, completed physical therapy and now its almost the end of the year. its not like you've been waiting to hear from me, but i have not held up my end of this whole blogging thing.

now on to the reason for this post. i have avoided writing because i was ashamed. ashamed of what?  since feb., i have gained back 25 of the 60 lbs i had lost. i could blame it on the back injury or life events (actually i have blamed it on those things) but today, i take responsibility for allowing this to happen. the first step to moving forward is acknowledging that there is a problem. i avoided the scale for months, but my clothes and the mirror reminded me of the truth everyday. looking back, i can see moments of depression and anxiety when i used food for comfort.

so, where am i now? i'm in a better place emotionally and physically. i made this confession about 2 weeks ago to the hubster and my sister friend (one of my accountability partners). they offered great advice and love while reminding me to get my butt back in gear! if you don't have people like that in your life, i advise you to find someone ASAP! if i were left alone with my thoughts for too long,  i would be a dangerous person.LOL. i'm back in the gym 4 days a week, eating better and no longer feeling ashamed. am i getting it right everyday? NO! but, i can now see my errors and move past them. i've said it many times and its always worth repeating, THIS IS A JOURNEY!!! its taking me longer than expected to reach my destination, but i will get there, oh yes, I WILL GET THERE!!!

devil, you thought you had me, huh? you picked the wrong chick......SUCKA!!!!!!!

all of me,