Friday, April 23, 2010

4/23/10- and a child shall lead the way

i am doing a lot better now and i'm more determined than ever to keep going. thanks for the feedback and the love.....MUAH!

joe, my oldest, decided last week that he wants to drop a few pounds before he goes to basketball camp in june. he announced that he was going "green" and asked me to join him. what does going green mean? basically, salad and water! i told him that a little variety would be nice, so he relaxed his initiative a bit and we have added fruit, chicken and healthy snacks. his first goal is 5 lbs by his b-day, may 8th.(my baby will be 16...don't get me started, i cry every time i think about it) he has been doing well, drinking lots of water and spending more time playing b-ball after school. i am so proud of him! even jordan, my youngest, has joined us in his own jordan kind of way. one thing i never wanted to do was force my family into joining me on this journey. i have made gradual changes in what i buy and cook for them. i still buy cookies and chips occasionally. this is not about deprivation, but moderation and viewing food for what it really is....FUEL! we are attending a banquet this weekend so we are taking the day off...enjoying the food without ruining the progress we've made. joe said we cant have seconds, uh, i don't know 'bout that sonny boy...LOL

be careful of the words you say, you will hear them again...from your own children!

all of me,

Char

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

4/14/10 this too shall pass...

it's been really tough getting back on track after my last weigh in/measurements. i havent fallen off the wagon, but i feel kinda stuck. if i were keeping my food journal this week, it would not be pretty. i know that i focus way too much on that number on the scale, like it defines me or something. i know that it doesnt, but my brain and my emotions are not on the same page right now. so, because i am obessed with weighing myself, i have decided to not weigh again until its time to do my measurements again with lindsay.....in july! i will begin to let my clothes be my guide. my friend, kim (who has lost quite a bit of weight) told me that she doesnt weigh herself. She knows that she has to buy smaller sizes whenever she goes shopping. I like that philosphy a lot more than torturing myself every week by getting on the scale, thanks kim! even lindsay told me that i weigh myself too often. i just need to focus on my eating and my workouts and the weight will continue to come off. this is not a competition....didnt get fat overnight, not gonna get fit overnight.

just in the few minutes of typing this blog, i am feeling better. i can feel the fog lifting..... I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST!!!

all of me,
Char

Sunday, April 4, 2010

4/3/10 i crossed the street and made a u turn

well, i did cross the street on thursday at the crosswalk...both times! i was so proud of me! i crossed the street with my head up, not looking down like i usually do. i cant promise i will do it again.

on friday, i went to the gym to have my measurements done, wanted to know my progress since the last time, which was jan.14. to my surprise, the numbers were not good. basically, i got fatter from the waist up and thinner from the waist down......WTHeck!!!!!! oh, did i mention that i have gained 6 lbs since my last weigh in, which was in early march......WTHeck!!!!!!! i was so angry!!!! i just couldnt believe my "progress." lindsay (gym owner and killer trainer) suggested that the gain in the upper body is probably muscle and the lose in the lower body is from all the hip action in zumba class. that makes sense, but the 6lbs doesnt make sense...AT ALL! lindsay asked if there had been any changes in my eating; none i could think of. honestly, i havent been writing in my food journal everyday like i should be. i dont feel like my eating habits have changed, but without my journal, i really don't know. gaining those 6lbs made me feel like i havent lost any weight at all. i felt like a failure and wanted to quit. lindsay also suggested that i make changes to my work out routine, more treadmill less ellipitcal, more squats and lunges. after i left the gym, i cried; had a pity party. it didnt last long.......

i know i can't quit, i've come too far to turn back. this is not a set back, but a set up for me to continue on this journey and reach my goal. i'm glad to have you here with me for the ride :)

all of me,
Char

Thursday, April 1, 2010

4/1/10 i'm no fool, just a chicken!

i hope everyone is enjoying the warm temps. since the weather has been so nice, i've been walking from Darden; where i work, to U hall; where i park....thanks UVA. it takes me about 15 minutes, an average sized person probably about 10 minutes. its an easy walk with beautiful scenery. this walk requires me to do something i havent done alone for many, many years. what is that you ask? dont laugh.......CROSS THE STREET! i have to cross the street twice and i am nervous doing that. why? because i think people are watching me and saying what i say when i see a fat person crossing the street.."hurry up and get your fat butt across the street!" i know thats a terrible thing to think. ohhhh, so now y'all gonna try and tell me that i'm the only one who thinks that? this blog is about honesty, people....FESS UP! when i cross the street, i try to be as swift as possible without too much jiggle action. if i can cross at someplace other than the crosswalk, i do that. i know it sounds silly, but this is tough for me. will i feel differently once i lose weight? i guess i will have to wait and see. i didnt know this journey would be so emotional!

well, i'm leaving work in 30 minutes and i plan to walk. i will attempt to cross at the crosswalk....swiftly with little jiggle action :)

all of me,
Char