12/9/10- the slump is over

in my last post, i shared that i needed to lose 8lbs to reach my 50lb weight loss. well, i need to lose a few more pounds than i thought. i stepped on the scale today; just for fun, and saw that my weight has creeped back up to a number that i NEVER wanted to see again. the number? anything higher than what i THOUGHT i currently weighed. lol. i must admit, i have been in a bit of a slump lately. it started the week before t-giving. i felt it, but thought i was pms-ing...sorry, fellas :) the feeling continued and i finally recognized it last week. i stopped writing in my food journal and my workouts decreased soon after the 5k. i was talking to my sistah, gretchen about it,and she said many of the things to me that i've said to her! she reminded me to push through the slump. dont you hate when your own words come back at you? i know quitting is not an option and this is part of the journey...this part of the journey sucks!

tonight, i'm going to the gym for a training session with lindsay. hopefully, she wont read this before our session. if she does, just say a prayer for me :)

today is the day to start climbing out of this slump!

all of me,
char

12/4/10- i'm still here

it's been a minute since i've posted....slacker. all is well; continuing to move forward. i completed my second race on t-giving day. it was a 5K and far more challenging than the 4 miler. i'm proud of myself; finished in 58:35. i wanted to finish 2 races this year, and i did. now, i'm working to lose 8 lbs before the end of the year. that will put me at 50 lbs lost. its been a struggle. i lose a pound, gain a pound...back and forth. this happened when i was trying to reach 30lbs. it truly is the battle of the bulge. i'm gonna do it....no doubt!

all of me,
char

10/27/10- its the most wonderful time of the year

not christmas, but fall. dont you love this time of year? the colors and the cooler temps are what does it for me. i also enjoy all the yummy warm foods of the season....comfort food. i am not a fan of apple pie, but i love to smell it baking...cinnamon, nutmeg, butter.....so good. this fall, i am going to approach all the great food of the season in a way i never have before, with peace of mind. i now know that food is fuel and i dont need a lot of it to keep going. i'm looking forward to thanksgiving, but it is not an excuse to overeat. i'm making a promise to myself to not do that.

all of me,

char

10/14/10- who you calling old?

this past tuesday i celebrated my 38th birthday. my kids told me i am officially old. wow, when did 38 officially become old? lol. i am VERY proud to be 38 and looking forward to the BIG 4-0! whats the big deal about 40, anyway? if i'm officially old at 38, then i guess i will be an antique at 40. lol. when i turned 30, i began the journey to discover who the heck charlotte really was. not the person that others wanted her to be. i realized that i had many titles, but no identity. i'm joe and jordan's mom, adolph's wife, pastor walker's daughter....hello? i have a name!!!!! my name is charlotte shirae walker young. i am a beautiful black woman who loves to sing, dance and write poetry. i like chicken, chocolate and coffee (in that order) and i would rather wear jeans and a t-shirt than a dress and heels. i'm kinda quirky, but cool, and i am loyal to the end. that's who charlotte is. i allowed myself to get lost, but at 38 years old; i'm back on track and learning so much about me. in a few years i will no longer be known as the fat chick. i like being a full bodied woman; just want a little less body...lol. skinny is not the goal, HEALTHY is the goal. when i reach 200 lbs and like what i see, that maybe the goal. i wont know til i get there and i am well on my way :)

all of me,
char

9/22/10- Random Thoughts

everyone has random thoughts. you know, thoughts that kinda come out of nowhere and really dont make much sense?! lately, i've been writing down some of my random thoughts and thinking about them later. i dont think thats the point of random thoughts, but i dont quite do things as expected. not sure why i am sharing this. not all my thoughts are weight loss related.

-people who dont know that i have lost weight just see me as another fat girl.
-why cant i stop eating cookies...maybe i should stop buying them....maybe.
-i can see my feet now when i lay on back.
-my reflection in the door knob looks weird.
-losing weight wont make my feet pretty.
-my biological mom would be 61 this year...wonder what our relationship would be like.
- why do people have the nerve to ask if my diamond earrings are real?
-how will i look in one year?
- i like compliments, but am still uncomfortable hearing them.
- cleaning my bathroom makes me happy.
i like me....finally!

i know this entry doesnt make much sense, but its my blog and i can post what i want!

all of me,
Char

what a feeling!

as you all know, i completed the c'ville women's 4 miler this past weekend. it was an incredible experience, one i will NEVER forget. my son said i "looked" like an athlete with my race gear on..lol. the fitness level of the participants ranged from highly athletic to "Lord, help me make it through this." I would say i fall someone in the middle. the weather was beautiful and the crowd of supporters seemed to be endless. the residents who live along garth road were standing at the end of their driveways clapping and cheering you on. and even though i was walking alone, i never felt alone. i met a new mom who was carrying her baby while walking. the race was her way of getting back into shape. i met a grandma who was an avid walker for years, but due to knee problems; hadnt been able to actively walk. i also met breast cancer survivors and those walking in memory of someone who had lost the battle. the last mile of the race is very emotional and you try not to cry so you can see to cross the finish line. its called the memory mile and it honors those who have passed away. there are posters hanging along the fence with the names of mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, friends. it is a true reminder of why you participate. not to compete, but to remember.

as i crossed the finish line (1 hour and 23 mins) i felt such a feeling of accomplishment! i felt like i stepped out of the old and into the new. it's like i said good bye to the old char. the char who didnt like working out (not that i love it now..lol) or didnt care what she ate. last year around this sametime, i wasnt even thinking about doing anything like this. but now, i am training for the next race on t-giving day....AMAZING!

thanks to everyone for your love and support. i carried it with me during the race.

all of me,
char

and the winner is.....

I weighed in and had my measurements done tonight. I am so pleased with my progress since my last check up. I have lost 10 inches(total body) & 14 lbs since April!!

As promised, I am ready to reveal my weight. Someone asked me why am I doing this? Well, this blog is my accountability tool and when I say I'm gonna do something, I do it! I have allowed my weight to keep me from doing and saying many things in my life......NOT ANYMORE!!! I am more than a conquerer,so I need to start living that way, time to be FREE!!!

I began this journey on 8/1/09 at a starting weight of 330lbs. Today, one year and one month later i weigh 288lbs. That's right, I have lost 42 lbs!

Who's the winner? I AM!!!!!

all of me,
Char

8/28/10- i'm in it to win it!(actually, i just wanna finish it)

only 7 days til the c'ville women's 4 miler. i would like to say that i'm physically ready, but i'm not. i would like to say that i'm mentally ready, but i'm not. ready or not, here it comes!!!! my goal is to finish the race. initially, i set a goal of finishing the race in an hour. i'm not saying that it's impossible, but i haven't taken all the necessary steps(consistant training) to ensure that i will do that. you know what? it's really ok. i'm so proud of me for even signing up to do this. and i'm not saying that i'm not gonna still shoot for finishing it in an hour, but i'm not gonna be upset with myself if i don't. again, the goal is to finish.

this wed., i'm gonna to have my weight and measurements done. i am a little nervous about that. the last time i weighed, i had gained about 3 lbs. i held off doing my one year weigh-in cause i knew i hadn't reached my goal. the more i thought about it, i realized that that wasn't a legit reason for not doing it. the point was to see what i had accomplished in a year's time, but instead i didn't want to know the truth nor did i want to share it with you. well, it's time to come clean and face the scale. i have to remember that the number on the scale doesn't define me. i know how hard i have been working, but i also know how much of a slacker i have been at times. like i always say, it's about moving forward and i have continued to do that, even when it feels like i'm not going anywhere.

look for another post from me before the race. i will post the results of my weigh- in and measurements. for the first time, i will reveal my starting and current weight. not that you guys care about how much i weigh, but that is something that i said i wanted to share after one year. i'm doing this for me, but at the same time, if it helps someone else, then it's all worth it :)

all of me,

Char

7/30/10- i'm still here!

in my last post i shared that i would be registering for C'ville Womens 4 miler taking place Sept. 4th. Well, i'm registered (3500 women participating this year) and ready! maybe not quite ready, but i will be. my official training starts 8/1, which is also the anniversary date of when i began this journey. i have decided to hold off on the BIG weigh in until race time. why? honestly, my life has been a bit of a mess lately and i am not at my goal of 50 lbs. lost. i am at 42 lbs. and holding. i really wanted to be at 50 lbs. i'm a little disappointed, but not too much...42 lbs in one year is pretty awesome! i am still moving forward and with my training for the race, i'm sure i will drop a few lbs. btw, i am walking, not running the 4 miler. my body is not ready for that; maybe next year, who knows?

i havent blogged in awhile and i feel kinda bad about it. not because you all are just waiting to hear about my life, but because this blog is an accountability tool for me. whenever i post, i look forward to your feedback-good, bad or indifferent. like i said, my life has been a bit of a mess lately, but even in the mess of it all, i'm still going to the gym and eating right,(most days)it keeps me from going insane!

if you arent busy on sept. 4th @ 8am, come on out and cheer me (and 3499 other women) on! the C'ville Women's 4 miler raises money for breast cancer awareness @ UVA.

All of me,
Char

6/17/10- my first time

get your mind out of the gutter! i guess you are wondering what the title of this entry means? well, i have decided to participate in the c'ville womens 4 miler. this will be my very first race! i am excited, scared and nervous all at the sametime. i have NEVER wanted to do anything like this before, but i think it will be a great way to celebrate reaching my goal. you all know what the goal is, right? 50 lbs. in one year....only 10lbs. to go! the registration for the race opens next week and from what i understand, it fills up quick. i would like to complete the race in an hour, not sure if thats a realistic goal. i've been reading an online guide on walking. it gives tips on posture, stretching, etc. everyone knows how to walk, but are you walking the right way? i'm learning that i'm not. completing this race means a new beginning for me...physically as well as emotionally. i'm walking into areas i've never been before. not sure where i'm going, but with God leading the way, i KNOW i will be just fine.

all of me,
Char

down..set..hut!

i am on my way to losing the last 15lbs needed to reach my goal of 50 lbs in one year. i have 2 months to do this. i am calling this my "60 day blitz". i'm sure a blitz is not suppose to last for 2 months, but i'm calling the shots here. if you remember from past entries, i am not weighing myself until aug. 1. i know what you are thinking...how will she know if she is losing weight? thats a great question; glad you asked. at this point, i am in tune with my body. i'm not always on point, but i would say that i have a pretty good idea. of course, there are certain times that i dont know what my body is doing!( i think all the ladies can say AMEN to that) listen, if i dont lose 50 lbs. exactly, i'm not gonna be mad. i really am learning that its not about the number, but always moving forward and doing my best to reach my goals. i'm not gonna lie, it would be nice to see that scale with 50 less lbs. on it.

i will make the plea again....WHO"S WITH ME??!!!

all of me,
Char

5/18/10- we're all in this together!

i just realized today that i haven't posted anything this month. i wish i could share with you all that is going on in my life right now, but i don't have that much time, so i will stick with keeping you informed about my weight loss. most days i am moving forward; some days i don't move at all. i try not to follow my emotions because they usually lead me to cake, cookies or brownies. i'm grateful to my friend, Gretchen who insists that we walk on the days that i don't go to the gym. we walk and talk and walk and talk...its good for the body and the soul. my clothes are getting bigger, which is good, but i need to go shopping....SOON!

august will be here soon and i want to lose 15 more lbs.; that will be 50lbs. in one year. i know i can do it, but i gotta stay on track. i have about 73 days before august 1....who's with me? i need your support in reaching my goal. let's do this together!!! you don't have to lose 15lbs., just make the commitment to eat right and exercise with me for the next 73 days and see what happens.

i'll be waiting to hear from you.

all of me,
Char

4/23/10- and a child shall lead the way

i am doing a lot better now and i'm more determined than ever to keep going. thanks for the feedback and the love.....MUAH!

joe, my oldest, decided last week that he wants to drop a few pounds before he goes to basketball camp in june. he announced that he was going "green" and asked me to join him. what does going green mean? basically, salad and water! i told him that a little variety would be nice, so he relaxed his initiative a bit and we have added fruit, chicken and healthy snacks. his first goal is 5 lbs by his b-day, may 8th.(my baby will be 16...don't get me started, i cry every time i think about it) he has been doing well, drinking lots of water and spending more time playing b-ball after school. i am so proud of him! even jordan, my youngest, has joined us in his own jordan kind of way. one thing i never wanted to do was force my family into joining me on this journey. i have made gradual changes in what i buy and cook for them. i still buy cookies and chips occasionally. this is not about deprivation, but moderation and viewing food for what it really is....FUEL! we are attending a banquet this weekend so we are taking the day off...enjoying the food without ruining the progress we've made. joe said we cant have seconds, uh, i don't know 'bout that sonny boy...LOL

be careful of the words you say, you will hear them again...from your own children!

all of me,

Char

4/14/10 this too shall pass...

it's been really tough getting back on track after my last weigh in/measurements. i havent fallen off the wagon, but i feel kinda stuck. if i were keeping my food journal this week, it would not be pretty. i know that i focus way too much on that number on the scale, like it defines me or something. i know that it doesnt, but my brain and my emotions are not on the same page right now. so, because i am obessed with weighing myself, i have decided to not weigh again until its time to do my measurements again with lindsay.....in july! i will begin to let my clothes be my guide. my friend, kim (who has lost quite a bit of weight) told me that she doesnt weigh herself. She knows that she has to buy smaller sizes whenever she goes shopping. I like that philosphy a lot more than torturing myself every week by getting on the scale, thanks kim! even lindsay told me that i weigh myself too often. i just need to focus on my eating and my workouts and the weight will continue to come off. this is not a competition....didnt get fat overnight, not gonna get fit overnight.

just in the few minutes of typing this blog, i am feeling better. i can feel the fog lifting..... I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST!!!

all of me,
Char

4/3/10 i crossed the street and made a u turn

well, i did cross the street on thursday at the crosswalk...both times! i was so proud of me! i crossed the street with my head up, not looking down like i usually do. i cant promise i will do it again.

on friday, i went to the gym to have my measurements done, wanted to know my progress since the last time, which was jan.14. to my surprise, the numbers were not good. basically, i got fatter from the waist up and thinner from the waist down......WTHeck!!!!!! oh, did i mention that i have gained 6 lbs since my last weigh in, which was in early march......WTHeck!!!!!!! i was so angry!!!! i just couldnt believe my "progress." lindsay (gym owner and killer trainer) suggested that the gain in the upper body is probably muscle and the lose in the lower body is from all the hip action in zumba class. that makes sense, but the 6lbs doesnt make sense...AT ALL! lindsay asked if there had been any changes in my eating; none i could think of. honestly, i havent been writing in my food journal everyday like i should be. i dont feel like my eating habits have changed, but without my journal, i really don't know. gaining those 6lbs made me feel like i havent lost any weight at all. i felt like a failure and wanted to quit. lindsay also suggested that i make changes to my work out routine, more treadmill less ellipitcal, more squats and lunges. after i left the gym, i cried; had a pity party. it didnt last long.......

i know i can't quit, i've come too far to turn back. this is not a set back, but a set up for me to continue on this journey and reach my goal. i'm glad to have you here with me for the ride :)

all of me,
Char

4/1/10 i'm no fool, just a chicken!

i hope everyone is enjoying the warm temps. since the weather has been so nice, i've been walking from Darden; where i work, to U hall; where i park....thanks UVA. it takes me about 15 minutes, an average sized person probably about 10 minutes. its an easy walk with beautiful scenery. this walk requires me to do something i havent done alone for many, many years. what is that you ask? dont laugh.......CROSS THE STREET! i have to cross the street twice and i am nervous doing that. why? because i think people are watching me and saying what i say when i see a fat person crossing the street.."hurry up and get your fat butt across the street!" i know thats a terrible thing to think. ohhhh, so now y'all gonna try and tell me that i'm the only one who thinks that? this blog is about honesty, people....FESS UP! when i cross the street, i try to be as swift as possible without too much jiggle action. if i can cross at someplace other than the crosswalk, i do that. i know it sounds silly, but this is tough for me. will i feel differently once i lose weight? i guess i will have to wait and see. i didnt know this journey would be so emotional!

well, i'm leaving work in 30 minutes and i plan to walk. i will attempt to cross at the crosswalk....swiftly with little jiggle action :)

all of me,
Char

3/19/10 feeling a little lighter

one of the benefits of losing weight is that your clothes don't fit anymore. i would say that's a good problem to have. my mon-fri wardrobe consists of various shirts/jackets & 5 pairs of pants-2 black, 1 gray, 1 brown and 1 wine/burgundy. of these 5, the gray pants are the only pair that don't look like i'm wearing a tarp.(it has a drawstring) so, i guess i need to go shopping, huh? i am reluctant about buying new clothes because the plan is to keep losing weight. i'm not sure how this works...any suggestions? last week i went out shopping for a brown skirt; nothing fancy, just a plain brown skirt. i found one, tried it on and it was too big....great, right? do you know i tried to convince myself to buy that skirt even though it was waayyy too big? i've heard stories of people who lose weight and still shop for the size they use to wear...is that what i'm doing? i didn't buy the skirt, but even after i got home, i was still telling myself i should have bought it! maybe i shouldn't go shopping alone...this is weird. when i look in the mirror, i do see that my body is changing a little, but my mind hasn't gotten there yet. does ANYONE know what i'm talking about? oh great, another thing to talk to my therapist about!LOL

like i said, this is all new to me. I have never lost this much weight at one time. it's a little scary, but i'm gonna continue because i like the way i feel....ok, i like the way i look, too!

all of me,
Char

3/15/10 a little houskeeping

its been an interesting time for me lately, not in a great way, but not in a bad way either. this whole journey to 40 is about more than losing weight. its about moving forward, finding strength i never had before and saying good bye to bad habits.

i have re-kindled relationships from high school with people i have truly missed having in my life... thanks facebook. i have also said NO to people i would typically ALWAYS say yes to....feels sooooo good! there are places that i no longer go; physically or emotionally because whenever i go there, i do, say or eat something that i regret later. i'm cleaning house...its difficult, but needful.

for the first time, in a long time, my emotions are balanced and i am not eating everything in sight! somedays, i just want to forget about the hard work i've put in, visit the nearest buffet and throw down! its in those moments, one of the kids is asking "what time are you going to the gym, mom?" its those gentle reminders that keep me accountable; reminding me that its not just about me...even though i thought it was.

all of me,
Char

3/6/10- why arent there any brownies in this house?!

this week has been exhausting- physically and emotionally. i cried a lot, but i didnt eat a lot which would have been my reaction to stressful situations. i even surprised myself! have you ever heard food call your name? no, really, you can hear it calling you.....ccchhhaaarrllooottttteeeee, i'm downstairs waiting for you....come and say hello to me! i know food doesnt audibly call you, but sometimes i think i can hear it. one night this week, i was extremely upset and was in search of anything that wasnt labeled low fat,fat free or zero trans fat. i couldnt find anything that would give me the satisfaction that my flesh wanted. what did i do? I ATE AN APPLE!!!! really? an apple? so, i'm eating this apple,crying my eyes out; mad that i didnt have any cookies/cake/brownies/ in the house. as i was crying, i began to laugh because in times past, i would have gotten in the car and drove to the closest store that was open...oh, what a change in me!

there is a verse in the bible that says, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak...so true! i have spent so many years giving my flesh whatever it wanted; never really listening to the spirit when it came to my eating habits. well, holy spirit, i think you finally got my attention!

all of me,
Char

2/27/10 its my time

while i was at the gym today, i was thinking about what's so different about me losing weight this time? why am i having success now? i think maturity has a lot to do with it, maybe i really wasnt ready before. i have always wanted to lose weight but not mature enough to make the committment....does that make sense? i have tried 812 times to lose weight with little or no success. i figured out the secret to loosing weight...u wanna know? ok, come closer.....EAT LESS MOVE MORE!!! well, duh? who woulda thunk it?

i remember my first diet.... i was in the 5th grade. i was hand picked to be a member of a group of "special", aka fat kids. we would meet every week to weigh in and talk about our feelings..lol. at our final weigh in, the person who lost the most weight would win a "special" prize. the night before, i slept with a belt on thinking it would shrink my stomach overnight....i wanted that "special" prize really bad!! guess who won? ME! guess what the "special" prize was? a bag of trail mix, yeah, a bag of trail mix. to me, that bag of trail mix was the ultimate prize. it was like winning gold at the olympics. i held on to that bag of trail mix until the raisins were as hard as rocks..i think my mom made me throw it out.

i'm ready this time. i'm ready to stay committed to what it takes to lose the weight. i'm ready to be a better me. i'm ready to put my shoes on w/o unbuttoning my pants first. i'm ready to walk up the "rocky" steps at work w/o feeling like i'm going to pass out. i'm ready to move through a crowd w/o bumping people in the back of the head with my boobs. i'm ready!!!

all of me,
Char

2/24/10 memories

thanks for the compliments on the new shirt, i felt great wearing it! today i feel anxious; nervous. tomorrow i am having an outpatient procedure done. i guess anytime you undergo a "procedure" you feel a little nervous. really, its a small thing that will prayerfully make a HUGE difference in another area of my health. i have not been to the gym at all this week and after tomorrow, it will probably be monday before i go back.

i found a pic of myself from the 8th grade...WOW! i was 13; about 185 lbs.(which is my goal weight) of course, i was overweight then. i look pretty good in that pic;80's hair and all..LOL i dont remember what it feels like to weigh 185 lbs., i dont remember what it feels to weigh 200 lbs. ok, i better stop there before i reveal too much. i'm very excited about being the same weight i was 25 years ago...WOW!

all of me,
Char

2/20/10 FINALLY!

this is gonna be a short but VERY sweet post; at least its sweet to me. after weeks of struggling to lose 3 lbs., i am thrilled to report i have lost a total of 30 lbs. since august 1, 2009!!! those final 3 lbs. have been hanging on like a bad cold, mostly because i ate 212 cookies during the various snowstorms over the last few weeks. i would gain a pound, lose a pound, gain a pound, lose a pound. i can now wear my shirt, what shirt u ask? i bought a shirt from lane bryant (2 months ago) that i could fit, but it didnt really fit like i wanted it to..know what i mean? i decided to make that shirt my first big reward-losing 30 lbs. oh, i paid FULL PRICE for it; something i NEVER do! i will debut my shirt tomorrow at church; probably wear it to work on monday, if i dont stank it up doing my happy dance! LOL

i'm super excited,taking this journey one pound at a time. my next big reward? hmmmmm


all of me,
Char

2/19/10 shredded wheat vs. waffles

last night i went to the gym and enjoyed (i really did) 30 mins on the elliptical machine. its been an emotionally exhausting week and working out my frustration felt great! i wanted to go for an hour, but i had other mom duties that needed to be done. hey, the point is to do something, right?

well, im heading out to leave for work this morning, go get my parking pass out of the honda to put it in the other car and realize that someone has been in my car! the face to my cd player was off and the molding around it was gone. the ashtray had been pulled out and the trash inside of it was on the floor. in that ashtray is a spare key to the jeep, which was used to try to get the cd player out. i guess the dummy or dummies didnt realize that because the jeep is parked right beside the honda. of course, i was upset and i burst into tears! my neighbor is a police officer and he helped me file a report. i'm sure i didnt lock the door- i feel like an idiot. i'm grateful that it wasnt worse, cause it could have been. after i got myself calmed down(with lots of hugs from the hubby) what do i think about? FOOD!!!! i started thinking about going to the waffle house and getting my eat on! WTHeck??? is that emotional eating or what? did i go to the waffle house? NO! i counted to 1000 or so and poured myself a bowl of shredded wheat. i refuse to let this incident ruin my week. i will not allow the devil to win that easy! the days of running to the fridge are over! i wish i could go to the gym right now; might cut the work day short and do just that!

the bible says in all things give thanks. thats not always easy to do, but i am thankful that there was no damage to the car and even more thankful that my family is safe. THANK U LORD!!!!!

ALWAYS LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!!

all of me,
Char

2/18/10 support feels weird

so, yesterday i posted my first blog and shared it with what i thought was one person, turned out to be many people. the support and feedback i received was over whelming! i dont know, is the reason you do a blog is to share it with others? i guess so, just wasnt expecting so much love. thanks everyone!

i began this leg( i must have a million legs) of my journey in august of last year. our church started a biggest loser-ish type challenge so i signed up. powerhouse gym(shout out to lindsay, wayne and heather) was offering a special rate for anyone who participated. i was apprehensive of joining because i didnt want to be the only fat chick in a sea of ken and barbie look a likes. i have never been a member of gym(except for a brief time in the late 90's..like a minute) so everything i thought about joining a gym was preconceived. this challenge was promoting more than weight lose,but healthy living-body, soul and spirit. i started out on my first week, didnt go to the gym once! BUT i did change my eating habits and walk in the evenings. guess what? i lost 7lbs. that week! i figured adding a few workouts at the gym and i could really do this!

well, its been 6 months and im still going to the gym and still mindful of what i eat. i see other people who look like me, not as many ken and barbie's as i thought. dont get it twisted, i have not been on point everyday....i struggle! i have learned that moderation is the key for me. i refuse to live the rest of my life without cookies! i just cant eat 10 cookies, only 3 or 4 or 5 or... hey, i said i'm still struggling...LOL. the purpose of this blog is not to inspire or motivate, if it does, thats great! the purpose of this blog is to keep me accountable. if you are reading this, check on a sistah from time to time. knowing that you care about me will help keep me going.

all of me,

Char

2/17/10 what's up?

i guess my first post should include some kind of introduction. ok, hello, my name is char and i'm fat! is that enough of an intro? anyway, i was inspired to blog my weight loss journey by my bud, theresa...thanks! a little history.... i have been over weight all of my life. i have no memories of being "average sized" always, the big girl. which was tough in the early years of life, but as i got older it didnt sting as much. of course, i have attempted to lose weight and have had some success, only to gain back what i lost plus a few pounds that i guess someone else had lost, too! so, whats different about this time? i will be 40 in 2 years and i am determined to NOT be fat and 40! i'm doing this for ME!!!! yes, others will benefit from it, but for once this is totally for ME! i have overcome a lot of adversities in my life, but this has haunted me forever. i feel like losing the weight is the final hurdle. not that all of my problems will end when i lose weight, but many of them will. this is not about being skinny-my goal is 180lbs. i thank God that i have no other health issues other than being obese...which is enough, right? when i stop moving i want the rest of my body to stop with me....anyone know what i mean? i am not ready to share how much i actually weigh, but i will share that i have lost about 27lbs. since aug 09. please note- i have to be proper and use correct grammar all day at work, so excuse my lower case letters and grammatical errors. this is my outlet, i will type how i want!

thats it for now. stay tuned and keep me accountable.

all of me,
Char