Saturday, February 27, 2010

2/27/10 its my time

while i was at the gym today, i was thinking about what's so different about me losing weight this time? why am i having success now? i think maturity has a lot to do with it, maybe i really wasnt ready before. i have always wanted to lose weight but not mature enough to make the committment....does that make sense? i have tried 812 times to lose weight with little or no success. i figured out the secret to loosing weight...u wanna know? ok, come closer.....EAT LESS MOVE MORE!!! well, duh? who woulda thunk it?

i remember my first diet.... i was in the 5th grade. i was hand picked to be a member of a group of "special", aka fat kids. we would meet every week to weigh in and talk about our at our final weigh in, the person who lost the most weight would win a "special" prize. the night before, i slept with a belt on thinking it would shrink my stomach overnight....i wanted that "special" prize really bad!! guess who won? ME! guess what the "special" prize was? a bag of trail mix, yeah, a bag of trail mix. to me, that bag of trail mix was the ultimate prize. it was like winning gold at the olympics. i held on to that bag of trail mix until the raisins were as hard as rocks..i think my mom made me throw it out.

i'm ready this time. i'm ready to stay committed to what it takes to lose the weight. i'm ready to be a better me. i'm ready to put my shoes on w/o unbuttoning my pants first. i'm ready to walk up the "rocky" steps at work w/o feeling like i'm going to pass out. i'm ready to move through a crowd w/o bumping people in the back of the head with my boobs. i'm ready!!!

all of me,

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

2/24/10 memories

thanks for the compliments on the new shirt, i felt great wearing it! today i feel anxious; nervous. tomorrow i am having an outpatient procedure done. i guess anytime you undergo a "procedure" you feel a little nervous. really, its a small thing that will prayerfully make a HUGE difference in another area of my health. i have not been to the gym at all this week and after tomorrow, it will probably be monday before i go back.

i found a pic of myself from the 8th grade...WOW! i was 13; about 185 lbs.(which is my goal weight) of course, i was overweight then. i look pretty good in that pic;80's hair and all..LOL i dont remember what it feels like to weigh 185 lbs., i dont remember what it feels to weigh 200 lbs. ok, i better stop there before i reveal too much. i'm very excited about being the same weight i was 25 years ago...WOW!

all of me,

Saturday, February 20, 2010

2/20/10 FINALLY!

this is gonna be a short but VERY sweet post; at least its sweet to me. after weeks of struggling to lose 3 lbs., i am thrilled to report i have lost a total of 30 lbs. since august 1, 2009!!! those final 3 lbs. have been hanging on like a bad cold, mostly because i ate 212 cookies during the various snowstorms over the last few weeks. i would gain a pound, lose a pound, gain a pound, lose a pound. i can now wear my shirt, what shirt u ask? i bought a shirt from lane bryant (2 months ago) that i could fit, but it didnt really fit like i wanted it to..know what i mean? i decided to make that shirt my first big reward-losing 30 lbs. oh, i paid FULL PRICE for it; something i NEVER do! i will debut my shirt tomorrow at church; probably wear it to work on monday, if i dont stank it up doing my happy dance! LOL

i'm super excited,taking this journey one pound at a time. my next big reward? hmmmmm

all of me,

Friday, February 19, 2010

2/19/10 shredded wheat vs. waffles

last night i went to the gym and enjoyed (i really did) 30 mins on the elliptical machine. its been an emotionally exhausting week and working out my frustration felt great! i wanted to go for an hour, but i had other mom duties that needed to be done. hey, the point is to do something, right?

well, im heading out to leave for work this morning, go get my parking pass out of the honda to put it in the other car and realize that someone has been in my car! the face to my cd player was off and the molding around it was gone. the ashtray had been pulled out and the trash inside of it was on the floor. in that ashtray is a spare key to the jeep, which was used to try to get the cd player out. i guess the dummy or dummies didnt realize that because the jeep is parked right beside the honda. of course, i was upset and i burst into tears! my neighbor is a police officer and he helped me file a report. i'm sure i didnt lock the door- i feel like an idiot. i'm grateful that it wasnt worse, cause it could have been. after i got myself calmed down(with lots of hugs from the hubby) what do i think about? FOOD!!!! i started thinking about going to the waffle house and getting my eat on! WTHeck??? is that emotional eating or what? did i go to the waffle house? NO! i counted to 1000 or so and poured myself a bowl of shredded wheat. i refuse to let this incident ruin my week. i will not allow the devil to win that easy! the days of running to the fridge are over! i wish i could go to the gym right now; might cut the work day short and do just that!

the bible says in all things give thanks. thats not always easy to do, but i am thankful that there was no damage to the car and even more thankful that my family is safe. THANK U LORD!!!!!


all of me,

Thursday, February 18, 2010

2/18/10 support feels weird

so, yesterday i posted my first blog and shared it with what i thought was one person, turned out to be many people. the support and feedback i received was over whelming! i dont know, is the reason you do a blog is to share it with others? i guess so, just wasnt expecting so much love. thanks everyone!

i began this leg( i must have a million legs) of my journey in august of last year. our church started a biggest loser-ish type challenge so i signed up. powerhouse gym(shout out to lindsay, wayne and heather) was offering a special rate for anyone who participated. i was apprehensive of joining because i didnt want to be the only fat chick in a sea of ken and barbie look a likes. i have never been a member of gym(except for a brief time in the late 90' a minute) so everything i thought about joining a gym was preconceived. this challenge was promoting more than weight lose,but healthy living-body, soul and spirit. i started out on my first week, didnt go to the gym once! BUT i did change my eating habits and walk in the evenings. guess what? i lost 7lbs. that week! i figured adding a few workouts at the gym and i could really do this!

well, its been 6 months and im still going to the gym and still mindful of what i eat. i see other people who look like me, not as many ken and barbie's as i thought. dont get it twisted, i have not been on point everyday....i struggle! i have learned that moderation is the key for me. i refuse to live the rest of my life without cookies! i just cant eat 10 cookies, only 3 or 4 or 5 or... hey, i said i'm still struggling...LOL. the purpose of this blog is not to inspire or motivate, if it does, thats great! the purpose of this blog is to keep me accountable. if you are reading this, check on a sistah from time to time. knowing that you care about me will help keep me going.

all of me,


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

2/17/10 what's up?

i guess my first post should include some kind of introduction. ok, hello, my name is char and i'm fat! is that enough of an intro? anyway, i was inspired to blog my weight loss journey by my bud, theresa...thanks! a little history.... i have been over weight all of my life. i have no memories of being "average sized" always, the big girl. which was tough in the early years of life, but as i got older it didnt sting as much. of course, i have attempted to lose weight and have had some success, only to gain back what i lost plus a few pounds that i guess someone else had lost, too! so, whats different about this time? i will be 40 in 2 years and i am determined to NOT be fat and 40! i'm doing this for ME!!!! yes, others will benefit from it, but for once this is totally for ME! i have overcome a lot of adversities in my life, but this has haunted me forever. i feel like losing the weight is the final hurdle. not that all of my problems will end when i lose weight, but many of them will. this is not about being skinny-my goal is 180lbs. i thank God that i have no other health issues other than being obese...which is enough, right? when i stop moving i want the rest of my body to stop with me....anyone know what i mean? i am not ready to share how much i actually weigh, but i will share that i have lost about 27lbs. since aug 09. please note- i have to be proper and use correct grammar all day at work, so excuse my lower case letters and grammatical errors. this is my outlet, i will type how i want!

thats it for now. stay tuned and keep me accountable.

all of me,