Monday, August 27, 2012

8/7/12- Where's my hair???

After  8 years of wearing my hair in locs, i cut it. it wasn't a spare of the moment thing, i've been planning it for months. when i first locked my hair, i said 5 years or til i turn 40. well, i'll be 40 in a few months and i went well past the 5 years. so, why cut it? i felt like it was time. i wasn't enjoying my hair as much as i use to and i knew i wanted a new look as i approached 40. now i am rocking a TWA....teeny weeny afro and i love it!!! ok, that's a lie, i like it....i think.

i didn't realize it, but for 8 years, i've been hiding behind my hair. only when i walk past a mirror is when i remember that its gone. yes, my head feels lighter, but mentally, i still have my locs.  i feel exposed and extremely fat. my face is front and center and i'm not really comfortable with that. so, do i still think cutting my hair was the right thing to do? ABSOLUTELY!!! why? being exposed helps you face the truth.  remorse (usually) doesn't set it until 24-36 hours after you do something and it slapped me hard in the face the next morning. i was searching in my closet for the BIGGEST shirt i could find to cover up. I. FELT. NAKED.

as you can see from the date (8/7)  this entry has been sitting for a few is 8/27. i am feeling much more comfortable with my hair, but still adjusting. i was walking down the hall at work today and turned the corner real quick and was waiting to feel my hair land on my back! i had to laugh at myself,  so use to swinging it around. LOL.  do i still feel exposed? yes, but again, exposure brings forth truth.

if you are loosing weight, cutting your hair, changing jobs, whatever; expect to go through a grieving process. i know it may sound silly about getting a haircut, but we become attached to things and once they are gone, it can be tough.  of course, cutting your hair is nothing in comparison to losing someone you love.  i wasn't expecting to feel that at all! this experience has truly been an eye opener.

all of me,


  1. Loss is loss and we experience the same thing with each no matter the significance....some take longer to heal than others. We handle the process differently but it all amounts to..denial, anger, bargaining(the what ifs), sadness and acceptance. It's all a journey. You look great with your short hair!

  2. Raw and real right now. Thanks for sharing. Going through some transitions myself.