this week has been exhausting- physically and emotionally. i cried a lot, but i didnt eat a lot which would have been my reaction to stressful situations. i even surprised myself! have you ever heard food call your name? no, really, you can hear it calling you.....ccchhhaaarrllooottttteeeee, i'm downstairs waiting for you....come and say hello to me! i know food doesnt audibly call you, but sometimes i think i can hear it. one night this week, i was extremely upset and was in search of anything that wasnt labeled low fat,fat free or zero trans fat. i couldnt find anything that would give me the satisfaction that my flesh wanted. what did i do? I ATE AN APPLE!!!! really? an apple? so, i'm eating this apple,crying my eyes out; mad that i didnt have any cookies/cake/brownies/ in the house. as i was crying, i began to laugh because in times past, i would have gotten in the car and drove to the closest store that was open...oh, what a change in me!
there is a verse in the bible that says, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak...so true! i have spent so many years giving my flesh whatever it wanted; never really listening to the spirit when it came to my eating habits. well, holy spirit, i think you finally got my attention!
all of me,
Char
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First of all, I hope your spirits are in better order and you are feeling better. Secondly, I am so proud of you for making wise choices when your vulnerability could have gotten the best of you. You are fabulous! Love you!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about what you said about maturity and being at a different place in life. I remember before I had kids and my nephew was born. I remember watching my sister sacrifice so much of herself to take care of this newborn and thinking how miserable. i definitely was not at that place in my life. Three years later my son was born and that's when I got it. I was there, I had reached that stage in life and it no longer seemed like a sacrifice it's just where I was...and happy to be there! That is very much how I feel about where I'm at now. It no longer feels like a sacrifice it's just where I'm at. Not everyone understands simply because they're not at the same place. You're doing great!!
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